EXPECTATIONS
Travails of two families with daughter
/ daughter-in-law
by
Chandni Rastogi
by
Chandni Rastogi
Birds are sitting on the
branch of a tree and sweetly chirping in sequence as if they are a part of some
orchestra. It was raining continuously for two days but today it is clear. As
the wind blows, the rain drops on the leaves of the tree slip and fall on the
grass of Jogger's Park. Many young men and women are jogging or exercising. In
the centre of the park, at the fountain, there are two benches side by side.
One bench is occupied by an old couple. The old man is wearing a white kurta pajama with a khadi jacket on it, Kolhapuri chappals, carrying a wooden stick
with the help of which he walks. Grey hair symbolised significant experience in
life. The old lady is very simple in a brown sari with a floral design. They
are Mr & Mrs Saxena. They have a son, Armaan, who is a software engineer
married to Shweta who is also a software engineer. Both of them are working for
a software firm in the USA.
“No one knows what’s
wrong, why Mr & Mrs Khanna have not yet come,” wonders Mrs Saxena.
Mr Saxena replies, “They
should have been here by now."
“There, they are coming,
Mr. Khanna looks slightly upset."
“Namaskar Khannaji,"
“Namaskar, namaskar, namaste bhabhiji."
“What’s the matter,
Khannaji? You look quite upset today.”
“Nothing, same old
story, my daughter Simmi, I just had an
argument. She is awaiting her B.A.
results and wants to pursue some course in mass communications abroad. We have
seen a boy for her; if everything works out we will get her married this year. She
says she doesn’t want to get married now, insisting that I should send her to the
UK for a mass communication degree.”
There is a short pause
and then he says, “Forget it, you tell us, how things are with you. When are your son and daughter-in-law coming
to India?”
At once, Mr Saxena says,
“They come once in two years, usually around Christmas - that is when they get
holidays for 15-20 days. Last year, they couldn’t make it - let’s see if they
can make it this year.”
“Saxenaji, you look lost. What are you
thinking?" “I was 30 years old when,
for the first time, I took Armaan in my arms after his birth, my mind was full
of dreams about him! I will do this…I will do that. That is why we named him
Armaan, our dreams. The dreams I had
seen for him. He would reach the dome of success where I couldn’t reach. One
day, he would get married. When I would read the newspaper in the morning, bahu would come with a cup of tea for
us. She would spend some time talking to us. They would both manage the house and take care of
us in our old age. The entire house would echo from the giggles of our
grandchildren. We would spend our old age in comfort playing with our
grandchildren,” Mr Saxena’s eyes are slightly moist.
Mr Khanna, trying to
change the topic, said, “Did you watch. India-Pakistan Test series?" They
started to discuss cricket.
Mrs Khanna was asking Mrs
Saxena, “Your daughter-in-law is of your caste?”
“No, they were both working
in the same company and one day they decided to get married. They finalised the
venue, decorator, pundit, invitation
card, etc, by themselves; we went to attend the wedding like other relatives. In
spite of everything, we were happy for him - after all, he has to spend his
whole life with the girl. However, after marriage, you have to undertake the
household responsibility."
Mrs Khanna was nodding
her head as she was listening carefully to Mrs Saxena.
Mrs Saxena continued, “After
just two months, bahu got some
project in the US and she flew there. We assumed Armaan would persuade her to
stay here, have kids, and take care of the house. That is typically what you do
after marriage. But, what he will persuade his wife? Soon after, he too
followed her to the USA. So, now both of
them are in the USA for the last 4 years. And we are sitting here in Joggers
park,” Mr Saxena added sarcastically.
“Saxenaji, you have a son, so why don’t you both
visit the USA and spend some time with them?”
“Firstly, at this age,
we can’t travel that far. Secondly, what will we do there? They leave for
office in the morning and return only late in the evening. How do we spend the
entire day? We don’t even know anyone there!”
Everyone was pondering over
this when Mrs Saxena observed, “Let’s move, it’s getting dark and I have to
roll chappatis too after reaching
home.”
They all bid each other
goodbye and proceeded to their homes.
After reaching home, Mrs
Saxena lies down on the couch and says, “I will make chappatis after some time. I want to rest for a while, my knee
joint is paining badly.”
“It’s okay. If you are
not feeling good, we can eat bread also.”
The phone rang.
“Hello, Armaan beta, how are you?” “I am well, dad, how
are you guys doing?”
“How we will do, we are
living how people live in old age."
“Come on, dad, listen,
Shweta’s project is over and we could manage to get one month's leave. So we
are coming to India next month. Can’t wait to see you and mom. I've got to go,
dad. I am late for work. Love you both."
“Armaan called up, he’s
coming next month." Saxena announced.
“Really? Oh, I miss him
so much! Good, will be a welcome change in our boring life. If Shweta is coming,
then I can take some rest for a few days. I am tired of managing the house all
by myself. They have enjoyed a lot there. They have some duty towards us too."
“You are right. I too
have some property issues pending, and I will try to get them sorted out with
Armaan’s help."
In the USA, Shweta is excited
and telling Armaan, “I have booked the air tickets. I can’t believe we are
going to India for a month. I am going to have lots of fun. I will not get up
before nine in the morning and when I will get up, breakfast will be ready. I
don’t have to cook or do any work for one month. I am on vacation for a month.
Otherwise, here, I get up at five in the morning, make breakfast, pack lunch
for both of us, go to office, come in the evening, cook dinner, iron clothes, vacuum
the house. What a hectic life!”
“Okay, okay, you can do
whatever you want to do, but at least now give me something to eat. I am too
hungry."
"Even I have my
income tax and other stuff pending. I will ask dad to close them for me. He has
lot of ample time."
Back in India, in Mr
Khanna’s house, Mrs Khanna is rolling chappatis
when she asks Simmi to help her with cooking.
“Mummy, I am busy
submitting my application form to universities for my mass communication
degree, ask Pammi to help you.”
“Don’t waste your time
in that, your papa will never send you abroad for higher studies. Learn to make
chappatis, it will help you after marriage."
“Can't I get married
after two-three years. What difference will it make?”
“In two-three years, we
will get your younger sister Pammi also married. When I was your age, I was the
mother of two daughters. You are not even married.”
Mr Khanna, who was
listening to all this conversation patiently, asked Simmi to come and sit with
him.
Mr Khanna explained to
Simmi, “Beta, whatever money I have,
I have kept for you and your younger sister’s wedding. Now, I do not have money,
to send you abroad for higher studies.”
“Papa, if it’s just
about money I can take an education loan from a bank and pay it back when I
start to work. It will not put any burden on you, please, papa."
“Simmi, after marriage
if your husband or in-laws don’t permit you to work then, how would you pay back
the loan, that too with interest?”
Simmi was speechless.
“Beta, I am your father and much more experienced in life. After
significant contemplation, this is what I have decided for you. Kishorilalji’s son Dinesh would be a decent match
for you. He is in government service, has a steady income, job security. These
days I can’t stand the ‘hire and fire’ policies of private companies. It is a
tough decision for any father to send his daughter to someone else’s house; you
will realize it when you will have one.”
Mr. Khanna’s eyes were
moist. Simmi was influenced by her father’s views but confused.
Three months later, Mr
& Mrs Saxena bumped into Mr & Mrs Khanna. “Namaste, Khannaj. How are
you?”
“Good, very good. Come,
let’s sit for a while at our old place near the fountain.”
Mr Saxena asked, “How’s
your daughter Simmi? Is she married?”
“No, no, Mr Saxena. I
changed my mind.”
“Why, what happened?”
“After my conversation
with her that night, she came and said something the next day which made me
contemplate what I had thought for her.”
Mr Saxena looked puzzled
while Mr Khanna continued, “She said, unfortunately, tomorrow, if her husband
is not able to support the family for some reasons or if the relationship does
not work out, then what would happen to her? We are not going to be with her
forever. Then what? If she is independent, not only can she support her husband
but carry on with her life even in his absence, if she has to.”
There is a brief pause. “Although
we were not able to send her abroad, she is doing her mass communications
degree from one of the best universities in India. Once she is independent, we
will get her married. Honestly speaking, what I have learnt in my life is that
I should get my daughters educated, make them independent so that they are
prepared to face life in whatever form it comes.”
“Saxenaji you tell me, how are things with you?”
“Last month, Armaan and
Shweta visited us. They had their plans in mind while we had ours. So there was
a trivial clash that happens in every house. Now, they are back in the USA. However,
Shweta is going to take a break from her career for couple of years as she is
expecting. As far as we are concerned, we have got a maid servant who does
everything including cooking. We spend our spare time teaching young kids of
the labourers working in the construction area, near our house. That makes us
feel content in our lives. These days, with the chaotic lifestyle, expectations
often lead to disappointment."
“You are right, Saxenaji. I think it’s getting late and we
should move now.”
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